La Kajira

2010-04-13T23:50:00.000-07:00

Just an update here.. This blog will be pretty much abandoned, as I am no longer kajira. I was freed on March 1, 2010.

I will leave the blog up, since it seems to be useful to people.

New Sirik

2007-06-26T01:50:00.000-07:00

Today I finished the making my new sirik. It is a lot stronger than the old one.
The other one is far more delicate and, despite what John Norman claims about light chains such as the ones used for my other sirik, I can break them easily.
It is very pretty, but not at all functional for holding me.
The one time Master slept me in it, I kicked in my sleep and broke it.

This one will be far more difficult to break, as the chains, while still pretty, are much stronger. And the leg chain is stronger still, with welded links, so I don't think I will be breaking free of this one anytime soon.

It is a little scary, but also comforting to be chained so much more securely!
I can move around fairly normally, but I have to be more careful so I don't trip myself up on the chains. And I know that it would be a simple matter to add an additional lock here or there and turn the sirik, which allows much freedom of movement, into close chains at a master's (or mistress') whim.

Master has the key and has gone to bed with it on his person, so I don't know how long he plans on keeping it on me.

I can now be slept in sirik without worrying about breaking it and I have no doubt that he will be testing that theory for tonight.

If he leaves it on all day tomorrow though, it will be interesting trying to find appropriate clothing for going out with Lady D in the afternoon. Definitely will have to wear a sarong or skirt instead of shorts or jeans! and unless I wear long sleeves, the sirik will be very noticeable .. And it's been hot during the days, so I don't know.

Anyway, Master took several pictures of me in the new sirik...

Here are a couple that show the brand off...

Brand - 10 Months

2007-06-21T03:36:00.000-07:00

Well.. there has been a lot going on in my life lately, which I'm not going to go into right here and now, but what I WILL do is post a couple pictures I took today of my brand. It has healed very
nicely and is now a little over 10 months old.

Branding site updated

2006-09-13T18:20:00.000-07:00

Oh yeah.. I also forgot to mention that I added all the more recent pics to the branding web page, so that's current too now.

http://www.goreanliving.com/brand.html

Brand - 4 weeks

2006-09-13T17:34:00.000-07:00

Here we are at the 4 week mark... almost completely healed up and looking great!

It's
still itching a bit on occasion, but nothing I
can't handle. And now I can scratch it without worrying about damaging it.

As promised, now that it looks like a brand and not a nasty scabby thing, I have some pictures of me displaying it when I am properly silked and positioned. Just like all the rest, you can click any of the pics for a full size version.

Brand - 3 weeks

2006-09-07T13:04:00.000-07:00

At 3 weeks here in these pics, the scabs are almost entirely gone. There are just a couple tiny bits of scabbing in the corners of the "staff" part of the kef. I'm LOVING how it looks!! I'm a little concerned about the lower curve cause it doesn't look like it's scarring much, but time will tell. That's where the scarring came off first, so it could just be that it's healed more than the rest and it will all even out. My parents still aren't thrilled about it at all! My mom said "it's fine if you like scar tissue". Oh well. I didn't get it for them. And truth be told, they are a lot more supportive than most parents, even though they still have many reservations about our lifestyle. Hopefully as more years go by and they see that I am still happy and thriving, they will come to actually accept it in their hearts too rather than just to be supportive of my choices. Anyhow.. that's an entirely different post really. This is supposed to be about the brand! LOL. Can't think of anything else to say on it for now. It still itches some, but more of an occasional minor itch now rather than wanting to use a brillo pad on it or something!
That's all for now :)

Brand - 2 weeks

2006-09-07T12:51:00.000-07:00

Well, I ended up not getting around to taking many pictures of the brand during our campout, but that's okay at this point I think ,
since there are fewer day to day changes at this stage of healing. As you can see in these pics, almost all the scabs were gone by the 2 week mark. It was still pretty itchy even with putting lotion on it every day. I tried to expose it to the sun a good amount in hopes of making the scar darker. We'll see I guess. Everyone who saw it (which was a LOT of people since I was nude 99% of the week) thought it was just beautiful! I got lots of compliments on it and also lots of folks saying they couldn't do it LOL. I can't blame them.. It DOES hurt a lot, but as I said before, it was TOTALLY worth it! Anyhoos.. More in a minute with the next post that has the 3 week pics.

Brand - Day 13

2006-08-27T23:32:00.000-07:00

It's definitely coming along nicely! I'm really enjoying seeing the design surface and can't wait to see the whole thing without scabs. It's going to probably be exposed to sun at least a fair amount over the next week, since we'll be camping for 8-9 days and I'll most likely be kept naked for the majority of that time, so I'm hoping that makes the scar darker. I know that other scars I have have been made permenantly darker if they were exposed to sun when they were fairly fresh. Just as long as I don't get a sunburn on it! AKK!!!

It's still itching a lot and driving me nucking futs, but I'll live LOL.
I won't be making any posts for the next week or so since I won't have computer/internet access out in the woods, but I'll try to remember to take pictures of it often so I can post them when I get back, along with writing down any thoughts that I think should be posted here. I'm excited about serving around the fire as a branded slave for the first time. and once the rest of the scabs come off, I'll definitely be getting some new pictures of me in my silks kneeling with the brand showing! Anyway, that's all for now. I have a lot of work to do to get ready to leave tomorrow.

Brand - Day 12

2006-08-26T21:50:00.000-07:00

I haven't taken pictures for a couple days cause it was looking almost the same from one day to the next, but now some of the scabs are coming off and you can start to see some glimpses of what will be the finished product.
It isn't as sore as it was. Mostly it's itching like hell! Hopefully the rest of the scabs will come off in the next couple days so I'll be able to go in the pool and hottub at the lifestyle event I'm leaving for Monday, The Gathering of the Tribes - Wetspot in Paradise.

Branding webpage

2006-08-24T03:36:00.000-07:00

I FINALLY have the webpage done!! I know it's taken me over a week, but I've been really busy. I hope it proves worth the wait.
The url is:
http://www.goreanliving.com/brand.html

Brand - Day 9

2006-08-23T14:19:00.000-07:00

It's not seeping so much today and definitly looking more scabby. In fact, I'd say it's looking downright crusty! Also, if you look closely (remember, you can click on any of the pictures in this blog to go to the full size image), you can see that it is starting to form the beginnings of visible scar tissue. One thing that I'm NOT so happy about is that it is WAY more tender today! I'm keeping a close eye on it and putting antibiotic ointment on it just to be on the safe side, cause I really don't want it to infect! That could mess up the scarring and meke it blur more than it is supposed to. Even with all the scabbing and stuff, the design still shows totally clearly and I still can't stop looking at it. I wonder if I'll ever be so used to it that I'm not amazed at how pretty it is constantly.
I actually kind of hope not. I love that feeling! And once it's an actual healed scar it will be even nicer looking! Not to mention the fact that the beauty won't be at all overshadowed by the fact that the thing hurts! LOL. I'm serious, just sitting down or kneeling and getting back up hurts it right now, and I keep on having things brush or bump up against it and that really sucks too. Hopefully, this part of the healing process will go away SOON! I guess my body is finally out of shock enough to realize that it has been given a 3rd degree burn and it's PISSED! Oh well.. It's totally worth it all.
Oh yeah.. And the page with all the pictures and details of the branding process should be up by tonight or tomorrow at the very latest!

Brand - Day 7

2006-08-22T15:00:00.000-07:00

Still seeping, getting scabbier. I want to go swimming and I can't yet :(
Oh well.. Soon I hope!

Nothing more to write for now.

Brand - Day 6

2006-08-21T01:02:00.000-07:00

Not a whole lot to say here. The picture says it all I think. It's still scabby (duh) and probably will be for a while. I had one master tell me that the scabby should be gone within a week, but I don't know how much actual experience he has with brands. Not to mention the fact that everyone heals at different rates.
Anyhow, I know I'm supposed to be journaling all my thoughts and feelings about the experience with every update, but honestly, I dont have anything much to journal. It just isn't all earthshattering like I thought it would be...
It just seems normal and natural. It's as though it's nothing more amazing than a pretty new set of silks I've sewn and want to show off. I don't get it. I really thought I would feel a lot more strong feelings about it all! I mean.. I AM very happy about it.. If I hadn't been feeling under the weather with some stomach bug the last week or so and my back were in better condition, I'd literally be skipping around, but that seems awfully tame for such a monumental thing! Anyway, I have to be up early, so I am going to bed now.

Brand - Day 5

2006-08-20T02:16:00.000-07:00

Just checking in. Still haven't gotten the page done with the procedure on it. Will try to have it done before the end of the weekend, but things have been really hectic, so no promises.
Anyway, As you can see, the brand is definitely entering the ugly scabby phase. It's tender, but the redness is localizing instead of spreading, So I assume thats a good thing. Film at 11.

Brand - Day 4

2006-08-18T18:36:00.000-07:00

I can see now the beginnings of the "ugly phase". I'm not worried about it too much though, cause I was already warned about it. I remember when I got my first professional tattoo.. When it got to the scabby stage and started peeling and stuff I panicked! LOL. I was MASSIVELY upset and convinced that my nice, new tattoo was ruined. Ahh, youth ;)

Anyway, I'm gonna get back to work now.

Brand - Day 3

2006-08-17T17:03:00.000-07:00

The brand is definitely looking angrier today than it did. It's seeping now. Not sure if that's normal or not, but I'm emailing the brander to double check.
I've edited all the pics for the webpage that will go through the entire process and will probably get that built tomorrow. Once I have it done, I'll of course post the url here!
That's all for now. I have a ton of work to do!

Brand - Day 2

2006-08-16T14:13:00.000-07:00

Well, it's definitely feeling a little annoying today! LOL. It's
*technically* pain, but a very low level for the most part.. kinda stingy and irritating.
It's looking a little more defined this morning (hey! it's morning for me!) than it did even when I went to bed . I am surprised, but very pleasantly so at that. Supposedly, at some point in the healing, it will be looking really bad and not defined at all, so I am bracing myself for that, but for now I'm REALLY glad it looks so nice so I'll have plenty of chance to look at it when it's pretty before it gets to a not as pretty stage of the healing. I really am going to write a detailed account of the whole branding process with tons of pictures and all, but I don't have time right now cause my daughter has a dentist appointment in just over an hour, but as soon as I have it written up, I WILL post it here. For now, I need coffee and maybe food.. I wasn't functional enough to ear more than a bowl of cereal last night before bed even though I was pretty hungry. I'm actually feeling pretty exhusted today. I guess the experience took a lot more energy than I realized. Than again, my body IS trying to heal from a fairly good sized 3rd degree burn, so I guess it's kind of understandable! (duh! LOL)
Okay, so, that's all for now. I may make another post later today. Dunno yet.

I am now a branded slave!

2006-08-16T04:25:00.000-07:00

Yep, that's right! I am now a marked girl. I'm still feeling pretty high from endorphins even though it's been a little over 5 hours since the brand was finished, but not NEARLY as high as I WAS! LOL.. We had to go get coffee and pastries and then wander around a bit before I was even able to drive, and I still wasn't exactly *fit* to drive, but Master doesn't have a license and neither does my daughter (seeing as how she's only 12 and all hehe). So, anyway... I'm not feeling any of the profound emotions that I expected to feel. I thought I would feel some sense of fear or potential loss that I can now really never be free (as in no one seeing the brand would see me as anything other than slave) and some strong psychological effect or something at having been marked, but really, all I really feel about it is elated and I can't get over how beautiful it is! Really, I kinda feel the same as after every other much anticipated body mod I've gotten. Now, the euphoric high, on the other hand, is WAY more! But then again, that would probably be because branding is a LOT more painful than tattoos and piercings! Well, the pain level was actually about the same as facial piercings I think, but a little more intense and the pain from each strike lasts longer than the pain from the penetration of a piercing.
I'm sure I'll have more to say tomorrow and I will also post more pics in the coming day(s). We took MANY pics, but I am really too tired to edit the rest of them tonight. I want to log into the chat room for a little bit cause I know there are some who will want to know how it went, then make a quick post on the kajira boards and then go to BED!

This picture shows what is by far one of the scariest parts of the process! As soon as the torch was fired up, I felt stirrings of panic, but nothing compared to what I felt watching this!

Next, here are some pictures taken right after the brand was finished.
The one at the top of this post was taken then too. Click on any of the pics to go to the full size image.

These last two were taken around 4 hours after the last strike, after we got home. You can already see that it's looking a bit more defined in them. I'll be trying to remember to take new pictures of it every day for the first several days of healing, then still regularly, but probably less often than every day until it's totally healed.

Branding

2006-08-11T15:19:00.000-07:00

Well, it's official! I will be branded the night of Tuesday, August 15th around 9pm, Pacific time.
We (Master & I) will arrive at the shop around 8pm, and then things will be set up and I will have a chance to ground and try to ready myself... (Can one REALLY be ready to have red hot metal burning her flesh away?!?) We will try to get pictures of the entire process if we can. The brander has said it is fine as long as the flash doesn't interfere with his work.
This will be multi strike branding (info on that here: http://www.bmezine.com/scar/scar-faq.html#Q3-2 ) of a kef about 3 inches tall on my left, front thigh.
Master had me design it because he likes my talent for that sort of thing better than his, and also because he wanted me to have something that I really, really liked because he is a very nice master (sometimes LOL).

Here is the design:
The original design was 2 inches high, but that would have made some of the lines too close together for a clean brand, so it was enlarged.

I will be posting pics of the process along with pics of the brand at every stage of healing and a written account my thoughts, feelings, and whatever else seems applicable about the whole experience.

For the moment, I'm feeling both excited and
terrified. I'm looking forward to having it done, but dreading the pain. And I'm afraid, not just of the pain, but that I will reflect poorly on Master by not being able to keep still or screaming or cursing or other forms of not being gracefull about it. The brander has a rule that if you can't sit still you don't get branded, so I won't be able to be tied down or otherwise secured.. which would make it SO much easier! So it will be quite a test!!

Also, there is the fact that it is so final. Once branded, there truly is no going back really; for how can a branded girl ever be free again? Not that I really anticipate wanting to be free, but it's the finality of even having the possible option removed.. It's scary!
I'm really a huge bundle of emotions about this.. anticipation, dread, excitement, curiosity, a feeling of... "rightness", giddiness, and lots of stuff I can't even name!
I'll be keeping ya'll posted on everything, and would appreciate your thoughts and energy (especially COLD thoughts) sent my way Tuesdy night!

First post

2006-08-11T14:59:00.000-07:00

Hello Masters, Mistresses and fellow slaves...

This blog will be for me to share various thoughts and events in my life as kajira that don't necessarily qualify as essays. Kinda part journal, part announcment board and part.. umm... whatever else.

To the free, please understand that this is a place for me to share my thoughts and feelings freely and should not be viewed as a "public board" so much as a slave kennel with a viewing window.
To that end, there may occasionally be postings that would be out of place on a mixed forum or "in public" and I will not be greeting or addressing the free other than in this initial post. For the most part, the format will be like a private journal.
If that is unacceptable to you, this is probably not a blog that will be pleasing to you to read.
If ever anyone believes I have stepped truly out of line and require discipline, or if you would like to speak with my master for any reason, he can be reached by emailing Owl@Goreanliving.com .

Well wishes to all,
~ Khaos
La kajira, Owl's